Having great, positive expectations of others and being patient enough to keep them at heart in spite of shortcomings is a big part of otheresteem. This is probably one of the most controversial parts of the book and certainly the one I get more questions for. Please keep asking them as I do love exploring the issue further.
So you have read my book and been able to move your expectations for how that particular person treats you into a more positive light. Now what? What happens if they “aren’t getting it”. To ensure that you act accordingly and keep believing in them, you need to communicate your vision of them being the best they can be and share your high hopes for them.
Make sure this is not a moralistic or unrealistic standpoint and that you are coming at it as an exercise in otheresteem and not in control! Are your expectations in their best interest as well as yours? Do they reflect your work on the other practices discussed in the book, such as acceptance and appreciation? Do they come from feeling grateful for the relationship you hold together? Ask yourself these questions to really fine tune your expectations first. Then, don’t keep them to yourself!
At every opportunity express your expectation in words and back it up with your actions. That is, say what you expect and react as if it will come to pass and any straying from it is only temporary, a slip-up and not an indication of the possibilities for the future. As you find yourself doing this more and more, your otheresteem will grow and you will present people with an enticing, inviting, alluring, realistic option to go for.
Consider how much you are being the person you intend to be. It might help you grow your empathy for others on the path of becoming. As we explore on Chapter 7:
“Do you act as if you were as wonderful as you would like to be? If you aim to be generous, do you give of yourself freely? I fou like to be a respected member of your community, do your actions command respect? If you cherish ethics and truthfulness, do you communicate openly in all your dealings? There is a BIG difference between wishfully waiting for things to happen the way you would like them to and acting like you expect them to happen.”
As we have said before, otheresteem is a two way street. As you learn to expect the best from others, you will also expect it from yourself and vice versa. So, explore…learn…practice! Great expectations need to be shared.