Self-Care as Otheresteem

I know it is kind of a gender thing. But it can happen to anyone. You are so set on helping others, taking care of business, making the world a better place – and all that jazz – that you have little time for yourself. I know I have been there. And many of my friends and associates have too! So how can you take self-care seriously when there is so much to do for everyone else?

One day, I was picking my kids up from school and I was cheerfully singing along with them. One of those precious moments. My youngest boy looked up at me, beaming and said “Mommy, why are you in such a great mood?” I smiled back. I told him I was happy, but not about anything in particular. “Aren’t I always like this?” He rolled his eyes and looked over at his brothers. “No.” It dawned on me that I was always running everywhere and probably not so aware of my reactions. I was tired and stressed being super-mom and super-exec and super-friend and all that. It probably didn’t help them very much.

That night, I was meditating about the episode. Could it be that my kids deserved better? A better me? A calm, relaxed, well-fed, well-excercised mom? Yeah, it’s a self-esteem issue. If you like yourself enough you are supposed to make time for yourself. But in the midst of being there for others, it doesn’t always sink in. I believe I like myself reasonably well. I also like being super-everything. So I am. When I can. And I can, because I am also super-there-for-me.

So if whoever “yourself” is has a soft, soft voice, listen to the voice of others. They deserve the best you there is. And that’s just not possible without consistent self-care.  So now, I can spend time on the treadmill and at the beauty parlor, and reading and meditating. Not a lot of time, mind you, but good quality time. And, lo and behold, I do think I like my self a little more now.

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  • Alejandro Clavel

    Monica,

    It’s true that moms tend to put a lot of effort in trying to raise good kids, to the extend that sometimes the personal being gets put aside. This can cross the boundary of danger, if health issues happen and they are not taken care of. Mi stepsister had some health issues and when the doctor told het to take a serious break from her routine her response was: “I need to take care of my kids”. The doctor asked her back: “If you die today, who’s going to take care of your kids?”. The message was that taking care of herself was as important as taking care of them which forced her to find a balance and make sure that the signals that her body was sending were not ignored.

    I take off my hat to women, as they are the pillars of the family.

    Warm regards!

    -Alejandro

  • http://www.otheresteem.org monedays

    ¡Thanks, Alejandro! Sounds like your stepsister got some great advice! An eye-opener from your doctor…nice! Thanks for checking in :)

  • http://www.otheresteem.org monedays

    ¡Thanks, Alejandro! Sounds like your stepsister got some great advice! An eye-opener from your doctor…nice! Thanks for checking in :)

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