On Mediocrity and Conversations with Authors.

This week I have two reflections to share on otheresteem. The first comes from a response I had to a Facebook update by the always inspiring Dave Carpenter. He was talking about “creeping mediocrity” and how some of us come to lower expectations without even noticing. Provocative thought, as I have come to expect of him 😉 My response was:

“Creeping mediocrity, huh? I need only keep having high positive expectations of others and it rubs off on what I want from ME, too!”


I find this to be true and, as I explain in the book, it is one of the reasons I love working on the otheresteem practices, especially expectation that it comes full circle and ultimately boosts my self esteem. The truth is, if you can learn to value others, you will end up valuing yourself more. And if you make sure you don’t lower expectations but expect the very best from those around you, then how could you not offer to give the very best yourself?

The second reflection is about an book I just finished. Really good books bring up a bittersweet feeling for me. It’s nice to get something done, but it is also difficult to part with this nighttime companion; to end my imagined conversations with the author.  I feel empty, sad that it’s over. Like an old friend that I will miss. I find myself so attached to the ideas that I wish the book was longer. So, in saddened emptiness, I picked up the nearest book. It was not a new one. It was my own. I figured just a few words before drifting off to sleep. At first, I noticed everything I would now write differently, or correct (yeah, I do that). But upon letting go of the criticism – and remembering I am not so strict with other authors – I started really having that conversation with myself. How much have I been practicing? How can I deepen it? Am I still committed to these musings?

Would you like to know the answers? Not enough….By just doing it more…I am! Nice things to discover before drifting off to sleep. I think I’ll stick with this one, to the end. 😉

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  • http://www.hymla.com/ Randall

    It is true. If our aim is to help others shine, our intention reflects back on us too.  Also, to really help others, we need to refine own skills to a high level, and so our otheresteem intention creates a motivation to keep our tools sharp.

    How wonderful to pick up your own book and have that conversation with the author, and to realize that you are still committed to the principles in the book and want to continue that focus. That’s really keeping the mediocrity out!

  • Susan Mazza

    What a great reflection.  And as I have shared with you before, your book is one of my night table books.  It is like have a conversation with you my friend. Cool that you could have that conversation with yourself.  What we focus on grows!

  • http://twitter.com/roysaunderson Roy Saunderson

    So it really is OK to have a conversation with oneself! Thanks for buidling upon the concept of “creeping mediocrity”, which I think is ever present. I also like your valuing and validating the worth of others as one way to get at valuing yourself. I have seen that when we appreciate ourselves first we will then be able to truly see the worth in others and then be able to give them the REAL recognition they deserve. All the best, Monica!