Asking for help as an otheresteem practice.

A humbling experience, for sure. Even though I am a consummate helper and enjoy putting myself out there for people in my personal and professional life, asking for help is still a challenge. Especially when I really need it. Recently, I have been exploring the otheresteem aspects of it. Whom do I go to for help on something important? What does it mean? What does it tell the other person? How can I learn from this?

I read a phrase on Facebook that caught my eye:

Don´t feel bad if people remember you only when they need you
Feel priviledged that you are like a candle that comes to their mind when there is darkness.

I am taking this opportunity to understand my reaction to being helped and others’ reaction to my asking. Of course there is the fear that they will turn me down or see me as weak, dumb or whatever the case, but even worse is the feeling that they will say yes. Then what? What will they expect from me? How will it change us? The answers are varied of course, but I have found much to learn in this sense. How highly must I think of someone to go to them for help? How highly must they think of me to offer it freely and with no strings attached? There is room for let-downs, of course, as well as wonderful surprises! I can take it, they can take it, we can take it! WE can go to the next level of our relationship or leave it learning how it happened.

I believe that learning to ask for help and deciding who to ask is as much an otheresteem practice as an act of swallowing your own pride. I might be asking more frequently, even when I don’t need it so much, just to show I believe they would help me.  What do you think?

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  • Sonia

    Monica,

    A wonderful focus on asking for help. I was drawn in because I feel the same way and over the last 6 months I have started a journey as asking for help… First because I need it and then also because I would like others to share and join my journey.

    Even with a “no” it has helped me overcome a fear and created a bond, a bridge towards a potential future connection – and that makes me smile at the possibilities in me and in others!

    Glad to join you in this journey!

    Sonia