Boundary Check

The issue of boundaries is a huge one for many of us. Do we set them too close and feel uncomfortable with others? Do we set them too far and keep everyone at a distance? Finding ways in which to protect yourself enough, without shutting others out is truly an ongoing challenge that we all need to step up to!

So how about a boundary check today?

While valuing others is your choice and we have talked here much about the four practices, it is important that you strike a balance between yourself and others. I am all for getting a bit uncomfortable to build new capabilities, but just how uncomfortable is healthy? If you find yourself constantly feeling uneasy about what might happen to you or if the efforts you have put into your relationships are not yielding the right results, there could be a problem with your boundaries.

Ask yourself:

In what sense am I protecting myself too much and setting my boundaries too tightly? Might I be stronger than I thought?

Where do I need to be open to others and tell them I will no longer allow them to hurt me, ignore me, or put me down in this way? Might I do this with grace and in a loving, yet effective way?

Building my esteem for others is also knowing that they are strong enough to accept my requirements, that they can care about me enough to respect me, that they will find a way to interact with me that respects my boundaries and asserts theirs. Can I expect that of others? Can I bring it about by staying true to myself and open to them?

Reblog this post [with Zemanta]

Building Otheresteem with your Enemies-Part I

Got three enemies you can think of? People you don’t get along with. People that get in your way (and you in theirs), people that are not on your side. Good! Write down their names for this three part Otheresteem building excercise.

Ready? First step: Think of what you can appreciate about each one of them. Don’t be shy, you won’t need to tell them anything (just yet). Just write down what you see as positive in them, worthy of appreciation. Something you might admire in them. Take your time and write down what you find for each one of them.

Reflect on you reaction to seeing this list. What are your feelings? Now, stay tuned for Part II. And comment here so we can share insights!